The reality of having children really hit me a few days ago. My niece Laila has really bad issues with her asthma. Seeing her struggle to breathe is heart wrenching. The slightest excitement or activity can cause her to struggle.

Saturday afternoon after running all my errand and cleaning up the house, I went to pick up my nieces Hailey and Laila. A good old fashion sleep over!! They were really excited about coming over. They had not been able to spend the night with me since i moved in my new apartment. So, of course when I got there, the two of them had their over night bags packed, ready and waiting at the door. “Cant wait to leave to get to TeeTee Toya’s house.” They said.

I love this feeling! It feels great to know that I am loved in the most genuine way by these brats.

We get to my house, Laila the youngest one is already sleep. I make her bed and cover her with blankets and to dream land she goes. Her big sister Hailey ( nowhere near sleep) wants to play, watch movies and drinks smoothies all night. It’s about 11:30pm when Hailey settles down and falls asleep. (Yayyy now I can get some work done, so I thought.) I boot up my computer and instantly gets tired and start to doze off.

12:15 I wake up to the Laila coughing. I go to the other room to check on her and its a really nasty wet cough, and she cant catch her breath. I set her up for an Asthma machine and squeeze her medication into her elephant shaped mask that goes over her face. As her machine is going I’m holding her in my arms while I wrap the throw blanket around her. About 10 minutes later after her treatment is finishing up she says “TeeTee I feel better now, can I go back to sleep?” I tuck her back in the bed and to sleep she goes.

This went on all through the night, every 4 hours I was waking up giving her breathing treatments. Sunday morning she went to the ER and found out she was having an asthma attack. Laila doing great now. Back to her normal goofy self.

This was just a taste of reality for me. Since I don’t have the pleasure of being a mother right now I don’t have to deal with things like this on a daily basics. I don’t really understand loosing sleep at night and putting myself to the side for the kids. Even when I did doze off i wasn’t able to sleep soundly because I was concerned about Laila.

The need for mothers to be strong, patient and selfless is defiantly at an all time high. My hat goes off for those women doing their motherly duties and being able to maintain a smile. The ones waking up making warm milk bottles, changing diapers, comforting a child after a nightmare, or giving that midnight dose of cough syrup to sooth a sore throat, yet still make it to work on time looking like you just had 12 hours of sleep. You ROCK!!!

Signing off

A Proud Woman